my mind flips

it’s dead on this other side

created out of the darkness

that churns within

burying me alive

grasping for stability

the dizziness creates

spastic impulses

tossing bright sparks

into the nothingness

the numbness is back

it’s visit unwelcome

direction is lost

nothing is lucid

I’m again paralyzed with fear

spinning downward

no bottom in sight

uncomfortably familiar

distorted images of self

sticking to all thought

the stench of heartache

wrapped in searing discomfort

is embedded in this lifetime

putrid tastes of memories remain

my thoughts are cold to the touch

cowering in my corner

clawing at threads of life

surrounding my soul

dissolving upon my touch

impossible to retain

fragments of life melting away

I scrub violently

yet I remain filthy

my thoughts are covered in this puke

this bitter brain bile

constantly eroding

old me

new me

part of me

all of me

none of me

my sanity

is

gone